Counting the cars on the New Jersey turnpike...

One last adventure and then time to begin what's next.

My last trip will take me up the east coast to visit with friends and family.

A road trip.

Should take me through September.

And then grown up decisions.

Head not heart.

At least for a brief period of time.

I need a cause. I need to be useful. I need to feel I'm of value.

Going back to the one place we both said we would never live again is hard, I'm not going to lie.

I'm committing to myself to live there differently.

I am different so this is inevitable.

To find happy places.

To venture to make it a home base but not necessarily a full time home.

I'm hoping to find rewarding work on my terms.

Work that allows me to keep traveling.

I'm looking forward to having a home again.

Surrounding myself with familiar things.

It is unclear to me how this next chapter will unfold.

One thing I continue to know for sure is that I am not alone in this journey of grief.