I don't know where I'm going, I don't even know where I've been but I know I'd l

If you aren't familiar with the song "I have seen the Rain" performed by Pink and her father (who wrote it) check it out.

I am currently in my second stop on the north island of New Zealand, Wellington. I arrived first to Auckland for the weekend.

Included in this blog will be images from both locations which have been incredibly lovely, clean, friendly everything everyone says.

But I want to talk more about some people and experiences and how I am doing now 13 months after his passing.

I was in a bit of a funk I think when I left Australia having not met many folks along the way of any importance. I hadn't really had those meet as strangers leave as friends types of interactions.

I mean I met a lovely couple from Chicago for an afternoon and I met another lovely family from Amsterdam but in general it had been a lonely trip spent mostly in solitude. I was watching people, seeing people but not really being seen.

That changed when I arrived in Fiji. I made my first real travel friends there. I shared a lot about my story with them, they shared about themselves as well. I opened up to strangers and left with friends. It made me happy to talk to them about him. It made me sad too. It makes me sad now just to write that down. He would have enjoyed them so much. Having Fijian beers and talking about politics and laughing until it hurts and hating the crap music they play at the HRC.

That experience in the first resort in Fiji changed my trip, changed me. I think I became braver. I subsequently have opened up easier, quicker.

I met a lovely Kiwi in my second week in Fiji, and we hit it off right away. She has amazingly opened her home to me and I will be staying with her in a few days for the weekend in Christchurch. She has planned tons of fun things for us to do. She knows my story and is amazed and inspired by it and wants nothing but for me to have a great experience while in her home town.

Just kindness, what else is that? Why is that so shockingly rare? How can I find more of it, provide some of it?

As I shared on FB earlier this week, I had an experience on the plane into Wellington that really did change me. I showed a simple act of kindness to a young women who no doubt expected the opposite. In return she presented me with a very meaningful talisman of her culture. As two people just trying to make it through life on this planet we connected.

I still have a really hard time accepting the reasons why I am on this trip. The reality that I am a widow. Widow, terrible word. That at some point I will need to make a home somewhere and it won't be with him. And the sadness comes in big heavy waves. And the tears come in big noisy gulps. I am grateful for this opportunity, completely ungrateful for these circumstances.

Underlying all of this is still the anger and sadness I feel about the gun violence in America. I cannot understand how we have so little compassion for each-other. How ugly this has become and how the remedy is obvious to other nations while we remain oblivious. I've decided to go home to Seattle for a week or so to be part of the Seattle march on March 24th. I needed a little battery recharge of friends anyway and this is something I feel really strongly about.

Okay here are the photos as promised!