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I'm on the top of the world looking down on creation


I completed the Sydney Harbour Bridge Climb Wednesday evening. The climb was a lot of things. It was physically challenging for me in parts. My very rational fear of falling had me in full on panic mode during the backwards ladder climbs. And I say very rational, because for an able bodied person, I fall way more than most people. Manifest Destiny I suppose. The emotional impact wasn't felt until the climb was over. My fear and endorphins preventing me from processing the emotional stuff.

Afterwards I realized I was the only single person on the climb. Everyone had their partner or family with them. A support system cheering them on. A witness to the challenge and the triumph. I've been on my own now for almost 12 months, but this day, the aloneness hit me like a ton of bricks. Now I know I chose to come on this journey alone and leave family and friends, so I am not oblivious to how stupid this sounds. I hadn't thought about being ALONE. In fact I did think about waking up, going to yoga getting a coffee and heading to the beach, alone. Thought of it often during the planning.

I thought about the day to day stuff and being alone because I had managed being alone for the day to day for the past 11 months. I didn't stop to think about life changing, bucket list kind of things. Alone.

I'm proud of my accomplishment in completing this challenge. It was a beautiful experience. Honestly if he were still alive, and we found ourselves in Sydney I don't think I could have convinced him to do this, not in a million years.

But if I had chosen to climb, alone, my biggest cheerleader would have been waiting at the finish.

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